2 Week Summary

NEWPORT
Newport was awful, except for the food. Even with an interesting line-up shuffle we got our assess handed to us.

#1 Capt. v. Braisted
Surprisingly, the match was pretty close. I lost 3-1 to a guy who plays A-5.

#3 Jenks v. His Excellency The Pope
Even with the white hat and staff, The Pope just crushed Jenkins. It was awful to watch. The guy is a total shooter/dinker. It's not even squash. The Pope should be excommunicated from the squash league for the way he plays. 3-0 and Peter took a beating and didn't know what hit him. White man over-bite squash, i.e., no rhythm.

#4 Nina v. Huggins
A 5 gamer. Unfortunately, Huggy runs very well to the front and Nina decided to hit shots to the front. Shots to length worked great but she used too few of them to get the win. Our #4 spot is turning into our #5 spot from the 1st half.

#5 Hads v. Fashion Genius
Hads traveled to NPT from Fall Reeeve for the make-up match. I didn't bother asking what he wore this time but you can bet that it wasn't pretty. Maybe he graced the court in his saggy, tope bike shorts that were once black. Anyway Hads rolled 3-0. Our only win so far.

FOOOD! We ate at Pour Richards on Broadway. Great little place. Little nceks with portugese sausage was great. Scallops and risotto was delicious. Grilled chicken sangwich with salsa and gwock was very yummy.

AGAWAM

This was the first time in a long time we all showed up and played on the same night.

#1 Gryphon v. Guy with a serious heart problem
Short match 0, 3,0. The guy with the heart problem wasn't even sweating. Gryphon lost. Hey, playing 3-way after was fun.

#2 Capt. v. High Shorts
The court was hot, the ball stayed up forever and my legs were tired. This was the first time I had ever lost to HS. He's in good shape and playing a lot better than in the past. I'm disappointed in the 3-1 loss. I think I lost a few pounds of water. At the end I think I was dehydrated because I almost passed out.

#3 Hads v. Hockey Player
A pretty easy match for Hads. Not too much work and never in doubt 3-1 to Hads. Plenty of F - bombs from the hockey player during the match. Nice job Hads!

#4 Nina v. President of Bryant Univ.

Another 5 games for Nina and another loss. See the next Blog Update for a full account of the Nina Chronicles.

#5 Dobby v. Wally

5 games but in the end the victory was clear. Dobby was much more fit than Wally and didn't need the calls to go his way to get the win. A strong victory and the winning streak at the #5 slot continues. Nice work Dobby.

Capt.

FALL RIVER FUN

FALL RIVER YMCA - THE LAMBEAU FIELD OF SQUASH

You need GPS to find the place due to all the construction. Some of us without GPS got a little lost. Those who got it as a present from their Mommy found the place no problem. It's hard enough to find the place; it's harder to play once you get inside.

There's only one court so the matches take forever. The one court that they do have has a front wall like a frozen sponge. FRY has home court advantage like no other place in the league. Throw in the sideways bounces out of the back corners and the whole match turns into a big guessing game. Luckily we were treated to some fine quizine at The 99 Restaurant after the match. So much for their catch phrase,"You'll always go back for more." Thanks, but no I won't. It would be more appropriate if it were "You'll never go back for more."

#2 Jenks v. Big Bob Hads

Bob the bunter tried to play his standard dink and run game but Jenks countered with smash and cross-court smash. I only saw a little of the match. From my perspective it appeared Jenks had the match in hand from the beginning. At the end of the match his shirt was only slightly sweaty. Maybe it was the domination or maybe it was that the match was played in a freezer. 3-1 Jenks.

#3 Capt. v. Tenney

I'd never seen anyone so tired so fast. I concentrated on hitting the ball as high on the frozen sponge as possible and worked on getting to the T so I could pick up those tricky drop shots the FRY guys all use. Tenny was gassed, he hit his drops into the tin and if the rally went longer than 5 shots he looked like he was going to puke. Another win for the good guys.

#4 Nina v. The Bird

It was a good match. Lots of good reaction shots with good hands. No rules disputes like the week prior. As a matter of fact, there were a number of points in the match where Lets and Strokes would have been awarded but the point was played through. (NINA - Call a Let once in a while).

There were some bad decisions which resulted in some minor outbursts - "RETARD!" which sounded extra funny coming from a Yale grad. And, there was some tangling at the T by both players when they were tired resulting in "Move your Fat Ass!" being called. It was quickly pointed out by a spectator (Harvard Grad and teammate of the Bird) that Nina was not talking to the Bird, although he could understand if he thought she was.

Tough match with Lambeau court being the advantage. 2-3 to the Bird.

#5 Dobby v. Larry

Dobbs was pissed. He couldn't get the ball back past the service line due to Lambeau Court. The losing streak continues at the #5 position. All tied 2-2.

Capt. Morgan

RIVERBEND FINALE

DOBBY V. KAMBIS
It looked like the UN had taken over the squash courts. Those two guys were walking around, Riley was throwing his Cockney accented slang around in front of kids and some other guy was speaking Jenkinese. It was all very confusing.

Ultimately it was a good day for the Patriots and they're going to the Super Bowl against the NY Football Giants.

Anyway, the streak at the #5 spot continues. 4-1 on the week isn't bad. Hang in there Al!

Capt. Morgan

Last Week Of The 1st Half

RIVERBEND - WHEN WINNING WASN'T FUN
4-0 with 1 to go (bring a ref)

Squash is a special sport and sportsmanship is an essential component of the competition. Playing in the league as a team intensifies the raw competiveness of the game because you are not only out on the court to win for yourself but also for your team. You have an obligation to the other 4 players on your team; they are counting on you to try your best and play as hard as you can until the last point. We keep score for a reason. However, when we play we are supposed to be fair and honest.

We all love to win and we all hate to lose. As competitors we thrive on the challenge, the workout, the comradery, the feeling of exertion and execution, the feeling of being a teammate and especially the thrill of victory. We know the difference between the feeling we get when we lose and when we win. Depending on the individual, we compete to enjoy the feeling of winning or we compete to avoid the feeling of losing. I think it was the great Greek philosopher, Aristotle or Socrates who said "The beer is always a little colder and tastes a little better after a win." Oh, how true that can be.

In our second year in the B-League we are finally getting to taste the sweet nectar of victory. We are consistently winning matches and we are enjoying ourselves much more this year. Unfortunately, despite the 4-0 beat down of Riverbend, the experience left a sour taste in our collective mouths. 2 of the 4 opponents last night showed incredibly poor sportsmanship. The details of the matches below will reveal why the beer was warm and skunked.

#2 Toph v. Martin

As Toph told anyone who was in earshot, this was the re-match of an epic battle from long, long ago. In summary:

15 yrs ago they played in the RISRA team finals (Fall River

(4th year in a row without winning) v. Newport), 4th match,

Toph losing 0-2 and 4-8, 4-8 and 4-8 -pulls off the win, ties

the match at 2-2, 5th match - FR goes up 2-0 and 5-0 -

LOSES AGAIN! Did I leave anything out?

OK. Back to present day. Toph and Martin played a nice clean game. Plenty of rails, drops and lobs. Toph did all he could to drag his ragged ass all over the court. The patented lean over with elbow on inside of knee and almost excessive talking and ball bouncing was prevelent. He also made a point to ask the for the score - again - every time it reached 8-4 or 4-8. We get it already. A nice win to start out the night.

#3 Capt. v. Otto

I had played this guy before down at Riverbend. He just hits the crap out of the ball, stands in the way, crowds you and never thinks when you ask for a let it is deserved. I was looking for a ref for my match but Toph had to go home to eat, Nina was going on the other court and Jenks hadn't arrived. We managed with Jenks' opponent watching and providing some commentary to help out in some of the rough spots. Nathan was there too but bailed out after the second game. Otto was making some suspect calls - like a let on game ball in the 1st that nicked out. Although the attempt to frustrate and obfuscate were there I didn't let it bother me. That doesn't mean I let him get away with anything; I let him know what I thought of his calls. Fortunately, game 1 was the only game I lost and my 2008 resolutions are still in tact as there was no ref to argue with.

#4 Nina v. Little Tony the wrestler

This is where the night really begins to get interesting.

Short version: A win is a win - good job Nina.

Long version: Nina was crushing the Midget Wrestler after the first 2 games. LTTMW (Little Tony The Midget Wrester - Click on the link) clearly couldn't handle losing to a girl and started cheating. Calling for Lets when clearly not entitled, arguing with Nina when she asked for a Let. As anyone who has played with Nina knows, you can count on her for absolutely failing to call Lets and Strokes for her own benefit; if she asks for a Let it's most likely a Stroke. That being said, the little bugger was having a serious problem with the rules. A clear indication of his not knowing the rules is that he slammed a shot into Nina's thigh. Nice bulls-eye! For those reading this and thinking I'm picking on the poor little fella - NOT TRUE! The guy has a seriously bad reputation. He and his ways are well known throughout the league. He hunts for Lets and Strokes by playing the body instead of the ball.

As it happens, I was watching the 5th game of the match when his antics were patently obvious. He asked for a Let, rightly or wrongly, I commented "No Let." I was then asked if I was the ref. I answered no, but was willing and it appeared that one was needed. The game went on without one and almost immediately another attempt at cheating was made by LTTMW. At this point, our mild mannered, most always friendly and polite teammate in Pink says "Just play Freekin Squash!" At this point LTTMW walks off the court forfeiting the 5th game. As he was walking away he says "I'm disappointed." To which Nina responded, "That makes both of us." Nice!

A few minutes later, in what seemed almost surreal, Nina asked LTTMW if he wanted a beer, gatorade or something to drink. Dumbfounded by the extreme civility, LTTMW mumbled "wha? uh. No. huh? No thanks." Ok, see you at TPG! NOT!

#1 Jenks v. The Man With 2 First Names

We really didn't know what to expect with this match. The man with 2 first names was new to the league and nobody really knew what to expect. He had a couple of good wins under his belt during the season but nobody knew his game.

As it turns out, Jenks picked up on his strengths and weaknesses and was able to capitalize. He realized that "2 Name" had a weaker than expected backhand. SHAZAM! Points were made and games were won.

Somewhere during the match - either game 3 or 4 - there was a ripping sound. Both players were looking at each other trying to figure out where the noise came from. A quick runway spin revealed Jenks had suffered a blow-out in the rear of his shorts. Nice look!

The noises continued in game 5. As Jenks was about to serve - and during his inquiry of the score - he belches like he just ate 3 hot weiners and a Coke. It was loud and probably smelled pretty bad. The funny thing is, Jenks had no recollection of the belch.

Clearly all the noises, clothes ripping and belching took its toll on "2 name" and Jenks grabbed the victory.

So now we're up 4-0 with only Dobby to play.

#5 Dobby v. Kaz

As a reminder to our teammate, the following are his quotes showing his attitude and confidence.

I thrive on pressure. I’m rested/ready. Second half of the season. It’s go time.

I guess we'll see.

Capt. Morgan

A Break In The Season

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

With the squash season being so long (like a marathon) and our bodies needing a rest, the break in the competition comes at a great time. There's been no lack of rest for the weary on our team. Travel for the squad included skiing in Vermont and Lake Tahoe (excellent cross-training) and numerous warm weather venues, St. Thomas, Jamaica and Philadelphia. I hope everyone had a great holiday, is well rested and ready to get back on the courts.

2008 Squash Resolutions
With an attempt to become "better" - in a number of ways - I'm going to resolve to "improve" myself in the coming year by doing the following:
1. Do not argue with referee - even when they don't know the rules
2. Play with lower level players to help them get better
3. Play with higher level players to get better
4. Read at least 1 squash rule and its explanation per week
5. Do at least 12 court sprints after every time I play

Capt. Morgan

Battle For The Castle - Continued

Hadley vs. Patrick
The score indicated a long, hard fought battle between two veterans. This time - and this time only - power overcame precision. Dave won in 5 with a 10-9 game 5. We play them again!

Gryphon vs. Ted
The 7:00 a.m. match was, like our teammate, akin to mutiple personalities. There were great rails, long rallies, one shot shooters, shots into the floor, huge amounts of hustle, self admiration after thought to be winners, power shots and finesse shots.

The battle was on after the first game. Gryph took an early, solid lead but let Ted back into the game and the win. Game 2 was where the craziness started. Gryph bageled, blanked, shut-out and mind tweaked Ted with a 9-0 pasting. Which personality was that? Game 3 went to Ted in another good game but the tank was running on fumes as the rallys went a little longer than usual and Ted made some remarkable shots with great hustle that looked like sure winners for Gryph. Game 4 was a reverse bagel - 0-9 and as Carl Spackler aptley says in Caddyshack, "That's all she wrote - click here."

The Battle For The Castle - US vs. THEM

RICC vs. RICC
The line-up was set and we were looking pretty strong. Confidence has been building; we're comfortable as a B Team. Team fitness has improved; pounds have been shed and strength has increased.


Nina vs. Grossman - The 2 slot - more on that later.

Jenks vs. Wall
There was great anticipation for the #4 match. Two rather large former hockey/lax players in a confined area trying to hit the ball as hard as they can, you could feel the potential volitility. Everyone watching the match was expecting and hoping for some checking and slashing. Unfortunately, there were no sparks, no yelling - other than Jenks regular NICESHOT! (Yes, it's all one word), no checks, no dropped gloves. As a matter of fact it was described as FUGLY Squash by one spectator (more on the spectator later). Apparently, the guys kept hitting the ball down the middle at each other which allowed them both to swing harder and harder. Ultimately Jenks wore down his opponent and closed out the match 3-1. There was even a friendly 5th and Jenks rolled 9-1 in that one.

The Capt. vs. Mully
The match pitted 2 Irish guys against each other, one older who loves to shoot, the other, younger, more handsome and prefers the sustained rally. It wasn't a great match. Mully pulled something and couldn't run. I got a better sweat warming up with Hads before the match.

Nina vs. Grossman - So now we're up 2-0 and the only match left is the #2 match between Nina and Grossman. Nina comes out blazing and wins the first game. She's cutting it off, hitting to length, getting around the court great. She's just outclassing Grossman in all aspects of the game. At the same time, The Spectator (see above) has just finished up his match with Hads. The Spectator has been receiving a ration of grief for his not-up-to-par play and overly boasty game. Apparently, his head and chest cold have resolved and he's been getting some practice in. The Spectator almost pulled off the upset. The match went 5 and Hads, true to form, clawed his way to the win. Nice work guys.

Oh yeah! Nina vs. Grossman - Grossman comes back in the 2nd game to even it all up. Some good solid squash with a lucky break here and there. Game 3 goes to Grossman again but he looks like he's almost out of gas and getting frustrated with both his game and his racquet. He changes rackets once and pulled off the grip tap to start the 4th. He's also doing a good job of not letting the momentum build for Nina by delaying the game (See the Rules of Squash - "Continuous Play"). Not only is it poor sportsmanship but also a breach of the rules. Nevertheless, Nina is focused like a laser-beam and causes Grossman to hit 5 tins in a row to lose the 4th in style.

Nina is looking strong and Grossman is looking like hell. It's well known that when Grossman starts hitting tins he continues to hit them lower and lower. Between game 4 and 5 the Spectator comments that Nina is a 90% lock. True to form she comes roaring out and is up 6-0. Smiles and winks go back and forth between the members of RICC because we know she's a great closer and with 3 more points we get a team win.

Nobody thought Grossman was going to just give up and lose 9-0. He gets a couple of points on some dumb luck nicks, a shot that was so bad it was good that went up the middle and through Nina's legs and he stemmed the tide on the "That's not a Stroke" point (more poor form).

The #1 and #3 matches needed to be rescheduled and I'll provide an update when I get the details. Hadley was supposed to play Patrick tonight but the snow storm might have interrupted those plans.

Anyway, all we need is Hadley or Griffin to win and we get that team win we were almost positive we had until the GAG REFLEX kicked in again. What seemed to be a win for the Pink turned into a no-loss for the Blue.

Capt. Morgan

2 Weeks Ago

BROWN
We played Brown. I was away. I didn't see any matches. Hadley and Griffin were the only winners.

Capt. Morgan

2 WEEK SUMMARY

AGAWAM & BROWN

The Agawam matches went pretty good:

#1 - Neens was primed for the match. Unfortunately her opponent failed to answer the bell - or the bells were going off in the cardiac intensive care unit- and we scored a double win with the default. "Just be considerate and call next time." "I hope he's alright." and "A win's a win" were the most frequently heard phrases.

#2 - Jenks played High Shorts later in the week and rolled 3-0. The socks and shorts may be hiked a bit high but at least they don't smell as bad. Anyone interested in chipping in to help Pete with a new squash wardrobe? The 1986 Baltimore Open? Nostalgia is great but you are killing us.

#3 - I played the hockey player. Another win for the good guys.

At #4 Gryphon crushed the President of Bryant University. Plenty of niceties were heard during the match - Gryph looking for a cushy professorship up there with his buddy Billy D!

#5 needs some work. It was almost a perfect night.


Food and Drink

Didn't make that much of an impression but it's fair to say that STELLAS BLUES is off the radar. Except, Gemma showed up from his match in Boston. I do recall the ribs being pretty good. I will talk to TPG to see if they will accomodate us.

BROWN

Many reschedules. At print Hadley won at #3 over Yuseff. Gryphon is too strong at #4 and won going away - again. And #5 is still having problems.

#5 needs an assessment. What is happening? How can you be up 2-0 out of the blocks and lose -EVERY TIME?

THANKSGIVING & CLINIC

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Although Riley is away in Bermuda, reffing the World Championships, the courts are still booked for Sat. afternoon. See you then.

Capt. Morgan

Newport Update

TIE BREAKER

Jenks took his game on the road and checked out the courts at St. George's. The courts are cold! Jenks thought he had his opponent gased. Not gased enough. Apparently the match was much closer than the 3-0 result. Maybe a little more squash and a little less paddle?

Capt. Morgan

THE NEWPORT GAG REFLEX

TEAM GREEN
This is Green Week on NBC so it was only appropriate that we all piled into one car for our match on Acquidneck Island. Sometimes we make good conscious decisions, other times we have 2 cars with no gas and a mini-van that has its dvd player stuck on Little Mermaid. Too bad Jenks wasn't there to tote us all down there in the Electric car. Thanks for the ride Al.

THE MATCHES

When it was over we split 2-2. Jenks has the deciding match to play. I think he's shy - 2 weeks, 2 matches and neither with the team.

Dobby at 5 - This was the first B - match for Dobby. He climbed out of the C division to compete on Tuesdays. The match was not his best and he clearly got caught up playing CJ's game - lots of short shots, drops and barely any length. Dobby did throw in his patented D-league boast that worked 1 time out of too many. Not sure what got him out of his game. Maybe it was the gracious invitationS to join him to play on the weekend at St. George's, or, maybe he became disconcerted when Gryphon started cheering for CJ after a Griff-like, cross-court, chop, drop shot. In any event there will be plenty more matches. Besides the invitation to play, CJ also opened up to Al and all that his wife is due with their first child in March. As a father of 3, Al felt confident providing parenting tips.

Griff - The #4 match was over before it started. Griff knew as soon as he saw the bloodshot and watery eyes of his opponent that Henry was either hung over or just got off the Red-Eye. I didn't have a chance to see a point. 3-0 to Griff in 10 minutes - no sweat! Why bother washing your stuff or showering?

Capt. - You know what really pisses me off? When the ref doesn't know the rules. This isn't the D league anymore!!! You should know the difference between a let and a stroke at this level. Well, the temper flared, I got my point across and I channeled my energy into the match and defeated the loser of the Democratic primary for the Office of Secretary of State. His 2nd child is due in March - no advice offered.

Neens - She's so savy. She utilizes the mind game psych-out to gain advantage at the beginning - "Oh, your going to kill me." "You're so much younger." Anyway, the score didn't show very much disparity. The 2-3 loss to the 22 year old teacher at Portsmouth Abbey turned out to be a great match with some fantastic shotmaking.
The differences - Harvard v. Yale, 1 new puppy v. 3 girls, 22 v. 39.
It looked like she just ran out of gas at the end. Great match.

1 Beer and We'll Go

Pat's BAR was actually pretty good. The dramatic decisions coincide with the mood swings of those making them. The discussion went from "Turn Right" to "1 beer to be social" to a plethora of food - calamari, coconut shrimp, pizza and the "I'm not sharing my shrimp salad with you" special that Nina wouldn't let anyone near. It looked good. Good thing you didn't gag on it given the size of the bites you were taking.

RIDE HOME

Certainly interesting but much too serious. Hypothetical v. the real thing. The Consequences to an individual v. the responsibility to society as a whole. Protection of our children v. teaching them a lesson and suffering the consequences. To whom do we owe a greater priority - family or neighbor? The ride to the match was more fun than the ride home.

Remember - It's a marathon and not a sprint.
Drink water. Lay off the empty calories. Eat something on the day of the match.

Capt. Morgan

FALL RIVER

Not a lot to talk about for week 1 (Mile 1 for those applying the marathon analogy). We got off to a slow start but at least grabbed a couple matches.

Jenks beat up on chubby, tired Tenny prior to the scheduled match but showed full support by not only rallying at STELLA BLUES but losing at credit card roulette.

Nina had a good match but her opponent was just too tough.

The Capt. just didn't show up. I had aspirations of being the non-confrontational player all year and tried to keep it in check which really did not help. Inspiration, drive and emotion are bundled and you can't lose one without effecting the others - See next week!

Gryphon played like a lion with wings. He was flying all over the court and showed his mettle and a commanding presence.

The big disappointment was Coogs! He was up 2-0 and folded like a cheap suit. It looked like he gave up out there, lost his focus, ran out of gas and played into the hands of the left handed Buddah. What is Larry doing for you?

APRES SQUASH
Stella Blues - Good service and good food. Did you see their add in the Barrington Times? 1/2 price apps after 9:00 pm

Jack's BAR - Why? At least we saw the action shot of Jimbo.

Next week Newport.

Capt. Morgan

Preparing For the Season

NEW PLACE TO GO AFTER THE MATCH

1/2 Price appetizers was a good thing at Chiazza. I never followed up to see if TPG would compete. Knowing that was left undone from last year, I was proactive. I recently went to dinner at Stella Blues on Water Street in Warren - across from the Wharf Tavern - and learned that a friend of mine is running the joint. I mentioned the team and Tuesday nights. He said he would be happy to provide us special treatment to compete against Chiazza if we had enough people showing up on a regular basis.


CLINICS

It seems like the clinic time is working for everyone - Sat. 2:30 - 4:00. Please let Riley know if you will not be able to make it.

Hadley made his return to the court this weekend and he was all smiles - Hey nice new teeth!

GEAR

I will be contacting the shirt guy for team shirts. Please let me know what size you want. I think we'll go with White this year. The camo didn't make the cut.

Also, please consider updating some of your practice gear (especially Coogs and Jenks) - you just can't wash the ripeness out after a while.

Capt. Morgan

WARM-UP

EARLY SEASON PRACTICE

Just warming up. I hope everybody had a great summer. As is always the case, some work out harder than others - E.g. Stevie G now 1/2 the man he once was.

I was just checking the blog to see if it was still up and running.

We need names for the teams to submit to RI Squash - new name - no longer RISRA. We also need to submit a captain for each squad. Any takers?

THE SEASON

Remember, it's a marathon and not a sprint. Fitness and cross-training are very important.

L.W.I.S

Last Week In Squash

This was our LAST week of squash. There hasn't been a posting since February. What happened to March? Squash Apathy took over, weight gain from multiple pounds of Irish Soda Bread during St. Patrick's Week and Beer Pong became the favored racquet sport.
Sorry.

Thank you

Thank you to everybody on the squad for a nice effort this year. This was a building and learning year. History has shown that the first year in a higher league is always a tough one. And this was a tough one. However, next year we should have greater expectations of ourselves. From my personal experience over the last 4 years, it took our squad a year of adjustment before we won the State Finals. Next year will be more competitive.

Not Bad For the 1st Year

We came up as a team after winning the C's and:
Showed up every week - minimal defaults
Won a game or two most weeks
Won a couple of matches
Made the playoffs!

Keep in mind we were decimated by injuries - Coogs' knee, Nina's calf implants, Hads' knee, Jenks' mind, and my kneee and thigh, just to list a few.

We should keep in mind for next year that the league season is a marathon and not a sprint. We need to make sure that we each take some time off and cross train insteadof just heading over to the courts to hit and play. I know it's the easiest thing to do but we need to make a conscious effort to avoid falling into that trap again.

Next Year

The Squash Committee has determined that RICC will have 2 A-teams next year instead of the 1 overly dominant squad as presently constructed. This will mean that we will be fighting among ourselves and the other B-team players for spots on one of those squads. Remember, sportsmanship is the cornerstone of this sport.

Change of Season

It's official - with our loss last night and our elimination from the playoffs, it is now GOLF SEASON! The Master's is on this weekend; my new golf shoes arrived; my special ordered, logo golf balls are in my locker; my new golf slacks are on order; Hugh Richardson trapped me into playing in the Spring Member/Member with him; I have 2 rounds of golf already planned during my visit to MIL and SIL (Mother In Law/Father In Law) on Folly Beach, SC.

The Captain

It was a pleasure serving as your Captain this year. This was my 4th year in a row as Captain and need to take a break from that spot. I will be glad to show the new Capt. how to work the blog if you so desire.

Have a great Spring and Summer.
See you on the golf course when it finally opens and at the pool.

Captain Morgan

Writers Block

Playing But Not Writing

Sorry about the lack of updates. Since the last update I've had some problems putting the time into the Blog. Besides an unbelieveable trip to Telluride, CO, a week off for school vacation, President's Day, Ash Wednesday and the US Nationals I really haven't wanted to write about squash. The combination of playing poorly and time away has provided me with a great excuse to not write. Then it hit me when I saw the commercial for "Cymbalta." I think about writing the squash blog and curl up into the fetal position. I think "This Week in Squash" and I can't get out of bed, heavy sighs, the squash bag is too heavy. I had Squash Depression. But I've got it licked. Squash Depression is treatable and curable. Winning is a major contributor to beating S.D. I will no longer allow S.D. to affect me. If I feel it coming on again I'll just call T.O. or Dobron and play a match.

Playing But not Playing Well

There is a big difference between playing, even frequently, and playing well and with a purpose. There haven't been any clinics; Riley hasn't been around so attempts to get a few lessons have gone unanswered and the usual intense workout by oneself have been few and far between. The focus is back and so is the effort. It's time for RICC-Red to start ramping it back up for the homestretch.

The injuries should be healed; the doctors have given us permission to get back on court; vacations are over and excuses are like ass-holes - everybody has one and they all stink.

Prior Matches

We lost some and we won some. We're in the middle of the pack and could actually get home court advantage in the playoffs. We need to focus like a laser beam, put in a little extra time (find some time to get on court)and effort, act like the cohesive team we were last year and hit another rail instead of a cross-court.

Heliskiing

If you've never been heliskiing you should. I just went for the first time and not the last. Check out this link - watch the videos and if you get the opportunity, do not hesitate. www.helitrax.com

EXTRA Effort

Play squash instead of paddle. Put down the beer. Drink water. Eat fruit instead fries. Try a salad instead of a burger. Do some sprints the next time you go to the courts (3 x 10 only takes 5-10 minutes). Throw in some push-ups and sit-ups beofre you jump in the shower after playing. Get a squash DVD from Riley's office - it will fire you up. Be available for the clinics.

Remember

There's a point when a player reaches the next level. Yours can be the next time you play.
Fired Up!
Capt. Morgan

UClub

I wish we could play these guys every other week. How are they ahead of us in the standings? We really outperformed them.

Hadley started the evening off by crushing Dr. Squash 3-0 in 17 total minutes. The match was over so fast the guy didn't even have enough time to complain about an injury he has or some arbitrary, faux rules infraction- amazing.

Nina's match took way too long. It was like pulling teeth out there - dentist joke. The dentist and the BHW (Barrington House Wife) battled it out for what seemed like 5 games but was really only 4 and Nina came away the victor. Too bad she had to wait in the stairway while everybody else was relaxing and enjoying a lovely beverage after their match.

Mark and his opponent were both purple faced by the end of their match. Another 3-2 match, except this one was a disappointing loss - especially since Mark had about 10-12 match balls on P. Shannon. Mark - FYI, you cannot win the match by hitting the ball through the tin; try a drop shot every once in a while.

I love playing squash when my opponent is bigger than I am, both height and width and absolutely drills the ball as hard as he can - every time. Thank you D.P. for giving me a taste of that game from the RICC v. RICC match. Take 5-10 mph off of D.P's ball and that was my match at the UClub. I'm not a small person on the squash court but I never realized how a smaller person has so much trouble seeing the ball and front wall when there is a human wall of unmoving flabby flesh on the T. Fortunately my opponent was more competitive in his mind than on his feet that (k)night. There is no doubt my opponent either went to Notre Dame or his favorite movie is Rudy. He was psyching himself up by yelling "Play like a champion." and "Suck it up." I would have giggled out loud but he was frighteningly large.

Jenkins made up his match - Hey, it's better than a default.

LADDER CHANGE
Hads and the Capt. battled it out on Sunday in a challenge match. Bad knee and all Hads scraped out a victory over the Capt. 3-1. From my perspective the one and only good thing that came out of the match was that Hads learned the "New Rule" about turning. Glad I could help with the lesson - taking one for the team, etc. I'm sure the swelling and bruising will go down by the end of the season.

HALF-TIME
We have now played every team in the B-league. It was pointed out to me that, for various reasons, the other teams in our league look to be softening. There appears to be a lot of injuries requiring players to move up a level (Newport) or guys just falling out and being filled in from below (Brown). This helps us considerably because, as we all know WE ARE A SECOND HALF TEAM!

It's our job to make adjustments at half-time and come out playing with a new attitude and game plan. Our attitude is a new found confidence and our game plan is to play smarter more patient squash. Our objective is to get to the playoffs. The top 8 teams in our division make it.

Let's start the second-half with a win in the Ice-box.

Capt. Morgan

RICC v. RICC

Happy New Year. It's been a while since the last posting and there has been much happening on and off the squash courts. Initially, I was waiting for the final match of the RICC v. RICC match to be played. The delay was mostly due to the fact that there was uncertainty in the delivery date for Baby Dessel (Girl kind).

The night of the match proved exciting. A-Rob came in from up above with some serious focus and pulled out the 3-2 victory over Ted. Nina lost 1-3 to Grossman in a tight one. Hads had his way with Mully 3-0. The Capt. was roughed up - shell shocked after the 1st game - by the pounding of Patrick 3-1 and it was all tied up at 2 each. A lot was expected of Jenks; our hopes rested on his shoulders; it was thought to be a good match-up. Apparently a stomach bug was too much to overcome even though the opponent was getting very little sleep due to the new arrival (HA!). 3-0 to the bad guys.

INJURY REPORT
Coogan is limping around with one bad peg. He actually said "I slept on it wrong and now it's blown up like a watermelon." He should have stuck to Synchronized Swimming. Nina is almost completely healed from her calf implant surgery and Hadley is forever complaining about his sore kneee - blah, blah, bone-on-bone, blah blah, 10,000 mg of ibuprophen a day, blah, blahbity, my knee brace is too tight, blahbity blah, blah, I don't get any work done because I'm iceing my knee all day in the office. Hadley is full of it. Every time I see him play he gets around a lot better than an invalid that he makes himself out to be. Very crafty.

Capt. Morgan

RICC v. Brown

Whoever Hates Losing Raise Your Hand

If you did not raise your hand you're off the team. The "full loss" to Newport was disappointing but we didn't know any better. The loss to Brown was a miserable experience for all concerned. Why aren't we winning our matches? Are we good enough? Do we not understand the game as well as our opponent? Do we not hit the ball as hard? Do we not have the skill and athleticism necessary to win?

Just looking at those questions has started to piss me off! Our team is made up of some of the best athletes I have ever known. Every member of our team was a varsity athlete in college (I thing Coogs was on the synchro swimming team at PC). We know how to win; we beat every team last year to such an extent that it was boring by the end of the season. We train; we have clinics, we watch DVDs of the best matches in the World; we take lessons from a World class pro.

The reason we are not succeeding is in our head. We need to be confident when we step on court. We have to trust each of our individual games. For example, there is nothing more disconcerting to a left hander than deciding to play your first serve from the right hand box, even after he reminds you that he is left handed. (Screw him; he's playing my game). We need to approach every match like we did last year. We MUST walk into the courts a little taller, a little stronger, a lot more fit and a lot more confident than our opponent. Lift your chin and talk to the people around your opponent and not to him. As my college coach used to say, "You're not out there to make friends; you're out there to win. You can shake his hand when the match is over." Tell me if I'm wrong but, isn't it a great feeling to buy a beer for a guy right after you just kicked his ass? It feels like you just hit another nick!

The internal doubt must stop. Believe in yourself. Believe you will win when you start the match and commit to the belief.


Bye Week

This was a good week off for us. We were a little banged and bruised. We have numerous injuries and over used body parts that could use a little rest (Jenks). Coogy came back a little early even though he said he was going to stay out until the new year. That's either Irish conviction or the addictive properties of Squash rearing its ugly head.

Neener chose the right week to cosmetically enhance her appearance. Two weeks off from squash to take slow peacefull walks? Oh to be a Barrington housewife! I still don't understand why anyone would get calf defining implants.

Hadley made his first appearance for us this year. Great to have you out with us Hads! We all understand how hard it is to come back from not playing on a consistent basis. Don't get discouraged. The guy you played at #3 was as good as any #1 on any other team. Brown's line-up is a bit skewed.

Post Match

Ross Simon's seems to be the better pick. 1/2 price bar food and grilled pizza after 9:00 p.m. I'm actually going to talk to the people at TPG and let them know we want to patronize them but it's much more cost effective and fiscally responsible for us to eat at Ross Simon.

Stretching and Massaging

Should we get Athena to help us or not. I need to know.

Have a Merry Christmas.

Capt. Morgan

Merry Christmas

If you have been good boys and girl squash players this year Captain Clause might leave you a little something in your locker.
Ho Ho Ho!

Capt. Morgan